Nineteen Weeks and Counting
5:44 p.m. - 2005-06-02

Ultrasound today.

Everything looks good so far. She's already proving herself to be stubborn as hell, and I have to go back in three weeks because she wouldn't move from her curled up position way down near my pelvic bone. Her arms were flailing like mad, but she wouldn't move her legs no matter how much the technician begged, poked, and prodded my belly.

The lady managed to get measurements of her brain, heart, stomach, bones and all that good stuff. No evidence of a cleft palate, spina bifida, or neural tube defects, thank goodness. We couldn't get a clear view of the umbilical cord or her girl parts, so that's the reason they have me going back on the 23.

The doctor prescribed me more medicine for the headaches I've been having. I'd feel pretty damn good if I could just get over them. I've made a point to try to get by without taking anything, but I finally gave in last night after twenty-four straight hours of eye-popping pain. I took one of the 600 mg ibuprofens that the other doctor had given me even though I didn't want to. Logic tells me that he wouldn't prescribe something that could potentially be harmful to either me or the baby, but I got worried after I looked up the potential side effects from the medication. Evidently ibuprofen isn't a very good thing to take during pregnancy, because it can cause heart complications in the fetus. I didn't freak out too badly, but did make a point to ask the new doctor about it today. He said that while it isn't as safe as some other things, it is commonly used for pain management in pregnant women--especially in cases of preterm labor. That wasn't exactly the reassurance I was looking for, though, so I don't plan on taking any more. He wrote me a prescription for mepr0zine (it has Demer0l in it) and told me that it would probably help the headaches. I ended up taking one a little while ago because my head was still pounding (five hours of shopping is more than I can tolerate), and now I feel a little queasy. Yuck. Seems my tolerance has virtually disappeared after four and a half months of not taking pills. I'm still not too crazy about taking anything at all, but I guess that the stress from the headaches is probably not good for either one of us.

We still haven't come up with names yet. Seems that Alan hates everything I like (and vice versa), but hopefully we'll have something picked out by the time she gets here. I'd really like to be able to start calling her by name now, though.

I've gained six pounds so far. That sounds like an awful lot to me, but I guess that it's not too bad for nineteen weeks. The baby is already ten ounces herself, so one of those pounds is pretty much accounted for. The doctor also told me that the placenta is as big as a pancake now, and I wish I'd have gotten him to model just what SIZE pancake he's talking about. The fact that the baby is bigger than normal and that my uterus is already above my belly button made me suspicious again about being further along than they'd previously thought, and the doctor agreed. They're not officially changing my due date, but he did tell me that the 28th or 29th of October is what we're looking at. I've been saying the 28th all along, so that tells me that I have a little more sense than everyone seems to think.

I've been feeling some movement off and on for the past few weeks, but no definite kicks yet. I spend every evening laying very, very still and quiet on the couch in hopes that I'll feel her, and it shouldn't be too much longer before I do.

We went and registered for a few things at Baby Depot after my appointment, but didn't get much down. Neither one of us has any clue whatsoever about what we'll need for this baby, so I'm going to take my very experienced SIL along with me next time. She didn't breastfeed any of her kids, so I'm not expecting much information in that department, but I have a feeling that she'll be able to give me some indication of which products are essential and which we'll just end up chunking in the back of the closet.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.