Puppy Massacre
8:04 a.m. - 2003-04-27
Yes. idea is three syllables. I checked. (I was a little worried that I might seriously be losing my mind after reading a guestbook entry. But I was right. Hooooraaay for me.) ;-)
On another note, I am seriously considering terminating the lives of my neighbors. Why? Well, because they are inconsiderate assholes who treat animals like they're toys, and I'm just about tired of it. You may be wondering why I'm up at such a godawful hour on a Sunday. Probably not, but you could be. WELL, it's because the three ugliest, mangiest, loudest goddamn mongrel puppies in the entire world are SCREAMING outside my window. I woke in horror, sure that Otis was ripping some poor pup limb from limb. But after throwing on my robe and running outside, I realized that the poor dumb creatures were screaming like that to get into my backyard. They're out, and they want in. I'm sure they're hungry, but I can't afford to feed them. If I feed them they'll stay, and I do not have the funds to run a personal animal shelter. It is just impossible.
You'd think that this piece of shit, overly animal populated town would have a fucking shelter. But, it doesn't. Of course. There are PACKS of wild dogs that roam up and down my street. I'm assuming that that's where these puppies came from. But the people across the street from me got one of these puppies, put a collar on it, and tied it to a tree. This little dog is no more than six inches high, and they've had him tied to a fucking TREE. Now, I hate to see any dog tied up. It goes against everything that is canine. But for someone to tie up a few week old puppy is absolutely atrocious. Grrrrr...
Thank GODDESS. The puppies have finally shut up. I hope they didn't get run over by a car or anything. Now I will attempt to go back to sleep. More later.
I did something today that I haven't done in a long time. Are you ready for this?
I cleaned out my refrigerator.
Certainly, to mere mortals, this sounds like a menial task. But let me assure you...I am the queen of cram, the superwoman of stuffing. There might be a place in the Guiness Book of World Records for my fridge packing capabilities.
This is not a good thing. I threw away entire bowls of mold. Glass bowls. I threw away Mason jars, plastic containers, and seventy-five other various types of recyclables. I felt bad for all that waste, but there was no other way around it. No matter what, I COULD NOT STAND to actually open the disgusting shit. It had been living in there for way too long.
Based on this knowledge, you might draw the conclusion that I lead a particularly filthy existence. You would be wrong. My house stays remarkably clean for me to be so vile. (My car, of course, is another story.) Upon walking in my front door you wouldn't automatically assume that I'm a nasty fridge lady at all. But I am. It's my most terrible secret. There needs to be a twelve step program for this.
Because of the refrigerator raid, there are some things present in my home that haven't been here in a long time. Namely groceries. Yes, for the first time in forever, there is actually something edible in the fridge. And it's good for me, at that! I'm currently eating some sort of microwaved Lean Cuisine, but there's also vanilla soymilk (because the regular milk--i.e., that which comes from cows--was about to expire at the shitty store I went to), orange juice, pineapples, mangos, Special K with red berries, Lean Pockets, yogurt, cheese, crackers, sandwich stuff, low-fat Pringles, tuna, eggs...and the list goes on. AND, I got stuff to make a cake. I never make cakes. But this one is going to be lemon with cream cheese icing. Mmmmm....I'm not going to know what to do with myself.
Oh, and I got the new People. Madonna is on the cover. What a great Sunday. I believe I'll go read my trash now.