Painful Realization
8:29 p.m. - 2003-11-20
One of my boys got suspended last Friday. I think I mentioned it in another post.
Well, today I felt like a real piece of shit when he showed me a slash across his upper arm that came from a beating with an extension cord. I told one of the other third grade teachers about it, and she promptly freaked out and informed me that I had to "tell someone." Well, yeah, I kind of knew that. I conferred with my mentor teacher, who suggested that I send him to the nurse and let her handle the intervention part. I did just that, and got a note back from her telling me to expect a phone call. I wasn't sure if it would be from her or Child Protective Services, or if they were going to have the kid's mother up at the school.
Finally, when 2 p.m. rolled around and I still hadn't heard from her, I sent up a note questioning the phone call that never came. She quickly rang my classroom and told me that she had spoken with the assistant principal about it, and that he decided not to pursue it any further. Apparently they think it's an isolated incident--that Mom just "missed" with a belt (he told the nurse it was a belt, not an extension cord)--but that I should watch him for any drastic changes in behavior or signs of more abuse.
Granted, the kid is a holy terror, and apparently the beating didn't bother him too much, because he was back to his usual antics today. Still, I don't think I'll ever forget the look in his eyes when he raised up his sleeve and said, "I got a whuppin' with a 'stension cord 'cause I got suspended." It wasn't a look of blame, or anger, but a hurt that seemed to go right down to his very core. I had failed him in my quest to make things better. And I feel horrible about it.
I felt even worse when I handed him his progress report and it had D's and F's on it. This is the smartest kid in the class--he should have straight A's--but three days of unexcused absences really wreak havoc on grades. I just hope he doesn't show up tomorrow with a black eye or a swollen nose.
I can't help but become attached to the children I work with. Yes, they're bad, yes, they make me crazy, and yes, some of them deserve paddlings and suspensions. But none of them deserve a cut like that on their arm. Somehow I doubt that that wound will ever really heal.