I'm not even watching...
1:09 p.m. - 2003-04-06

Ugh. Daylight savings time SUCKS.

I knew that it was about to happen, but conveniently forgot. (I tend to do that sometimes.) When we woke this morning and realized that it was 10:30 instead of 9:30, I was pissed. Now it's already after one. Half of my day is gone.

I understand why we have daylight savings, but "springing forward" is just not my thing. I much prefer "falling back." But enough about that...

I don't exactly know what's going on with the war. I'm honestly not sure whether or not I want to know. A. had the t.v. on this morning, on CNN, and I made him turn it off. As soon as I got online, I immediately saw "3,000 Iraqis killed in..." I didn't read the rest. I couldn't, just then. I'm sure I'll go back and check up on things later; it was just too much first thing in the morning.

I hate this. I feel so helpless, and so angry. I don't feel like cheering, "We're winning!" Are we "winning"? This is not football. Or basketball. It's not a sport. Perhaps no one else is enjoying this "game" either, but I don't feel a sense of pride, or democracy, or justice, or that it "had to happen," as supporters seem to. I'm not jumping on the "anti-France" bandwagon, either. All I feel is deep, deep sorrow. And I know that this is only the beginning. Or the end, perhaps. In any case, this is going to change the world forever. I can just feel it.

I've felt relatively secure all of my life. I was old enough when the Gulf War was going on to realize it, but it didn't seem like that big a deal, back then. I wore my round flag pin with the yellow ribbons hanging from it, and we talked (a little) about it in class, but it never seemed that serious to me. It wasn't just because I was only ten or eleven back then, or that I've changed so much since. Though there were great losses in the Gulf too, this is bigger. MUCH bigger. I know that much, and I'm not even watching the news.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.