Seeing Spots
5:40 p.m. - 2003-09-08
Dammit.
I started spotting today.
As in bleeding. I SO should not be bleeding. I'm pregnant. Pregnant women are not supposed to bleed.
Actually, upon further investigation, I came to find out that it is a fairly regular occurrence, and that it doesn't mean anything catastrophic is about to happen.
Let's keep our fingers crossed that it stays that way. I'm praying that it goes away entirely. I've already become rather attached to the idea of being pregnant...I really, really don't want to have a miscarriage. But I'm not freaking out.
Instead, I'm telling myself that whatever happens happens, and that if I do miscarry, it was because something was wrong. (Please god, keep me from miscarrying.)
In other (less stressful) news, my kids are still being hellions, but in to a less soul-scarring degree. I was actually a bit TOO lenient today--I spent the day teaching (as opposed to standing at their conduct chart handing out tally marks left and right) and it went by incredibly quickly. I love teaching, really I do. I realize it at the most inopportune moments, like when one kid slams his book closed because he's pissed off, or when a little girl starts squalling because she misses her mom. During those times I can't help but think, "God, I wish that trivial shit still meant as much to me as it does to them. Thank goodness that this is as bad as the job gets. I'm so glad I'm not still handling hundreds of thousands of dollars of someone else's money."
This is way better. Seriously.
Enough for today...Alan's due home soon. (I wish the butthead would CALL so I could go buy some FRUIT from the grocery store. I'm craving strawberries like nobody's business.)
Actually, I think I'm going to buy them anyway.
Toodles.