Snow in July
8:34 p.m. - 2005-06-30

Dear god, it's hot.

It's the kind of hot that makes it hard to breathe. Sidewalks and roads radiate heat back up at you, and by five o'clock the air conditioner is struggling to keep the inside of the house at a sweltering 80 degrees. Sweat beads up on your face as soon as you open the door, and you almost need a water bottle just to walk to the mailbox. The car is like an oven, the steering wheel and seatbelt will raise blisters if you touch them with bare hands.

We have two fans blowing directly on us all night long, and I still wake up soaking wet. Even the thinnest sheet in the house is too heavy. The dog needed to go out at 3 a.m. this morning, and I could barely stand to be out there with her.

I must say that I'll NEVER be big and pregnant in the summertime again at least five times a day. I really hope I'm right.

I've been making supper every night, but try to avoid using the oven. Just turning on the burner heats the entire kitchen up to the point of being uncomfortable. My cravings for salad and other "refrigerator foods" probably don't stem as much from vitamin deficiency as just wanting something cold to enjoy. Alan usually likes something a little more substantial; he eats a salad every day for lunch, and is pretty hungry when he comes in from work.

Speaking of food, it's interesting to me that I've been passing up meat completely in favor of fruits and vegetables. I just don't seem to want it at all lately, and that's strange for a woman who usually likes a little meat with every meal. Last week I went through two boxes of veggie burgers in a week; today it's been all about the garbanzo beans. I had a delicious falafel sandwich for lunch, and a chickpea salad for supper. We went to Port City today so that Alan could apply for a job, so I bought stuff that I've been wanting but can't find here. Chickpeas (five cans...anyone got some good recipes?), hummus, feta, and pita bread so that I'd have quick and easy stuff for lunch, mangoes and sorbet for desserts.

Even though I've been spending every minute indoors, I feel like I'm constantly dehydrated. I keep a big glass of water beside me all day long, and I pay for it all night. I imagine that the only thing more fun than running for the bathroom four times a night is waking to a crying baby. Maybe they're right about this being early preparation for motherhood.

Nothing else in the house is ready for October, but I sure as hell am.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.