XOXOXOXO I'm Sorry, I Missed You, Please Forgive Me
4:42 p.m. - 2006-11-14

Well, well. Look who's back!

It's kind of funny that I was all, "Bye y'all, no more diary!" and yet I'm back to posting so soon, eh? I mean, I've gone over a month without posting before, and when I decide that I'm actually going to quit altogether, I can't stay away from this place. Hopefully that's a good thing.

Still, I was telling the truth with my previous entry. It's not as fun as it used to be. I remember when writing here was one of the highlights of my day; I used to get so excited when I'd think of an opening sentence or something that I just had to talk about here.

Of course, I used to have things that were interesting to talk about, because I used to have a LIFE. I had a schedule. I got up at a certain time, showered, and put on makeup every day. I picked out jewelry, fixed my hair, drove to work, and interacted with other people. Other...adults. I had conversations that didn't involve poop--certainly not OTHER PEOPLE'S poop--or the Itsy Bitsy Spider or boo boos.

I bought an kick-ass pair of Nine West boots the other day, and when Alan saw them, he asked me where I planned on wearing them. He wasn't being a jerk, but the comment shook me a little. These days I'm doing good to slip on a pair of flip flops when I walk to the mailbox...what do I need with a pair of 4 inch stilettos? I've fallen into the dreaded Mommy rut, and I'm stuck pretty good.

And god, I feel so--SO--guilty for complaining. My daughter is beautiful and perfect and very, very advanced for her age. (Brag? Me? I'm just stating a fact. Heh.) She's talking, sometimes even in partial sentences. She can follow verbal directions, she dances to any music that she happens to hear, and she captures the heart of every person she meets. I love her so much and am so proud of her that there's no way to even begin putting it into words, and I'm tremendously grateful that I get to stay home with her.

I'm not depressed, and things are going very well marriage, life, and money-wise. Life's probably never been better. It's just kind of...boring.

But I'm going to write about it anyway, in hopes that I'll eventually get back in the habit. Maybe one day something interesting will happen. It's my diary, right?

P.S. I changed the way it looks around here, in case no one noticed. It's a stupid pre-made template from some now defunct design site, but it looks a hell of a lot better than the previous monstrosity I had. I'm still hoping that I'll eventually coerce someone into making me a custom layout (I've wanted one for years, but do you think I've bothered to even try and learn HTML? HAH! NOT EVEN!), but until then this will have to do.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.

feeling:
hopeful