Ill
11:15 a.m. - 2006-08-26

For the last three mornings in a row, I've woken up with the worst headaches I've ever had in my entire life. My eyes feel as though they're going to burst out of my head at any minute, and the shooting pain reaches from the back of my head to the base of my skull. I can't move my head or speak at all, because that only intensifies the pain, making my brain seem to bounce off the sides of my skull. It's also been accompanied by a fever (this morning it was over 101 degrees), nausea, and tremors.

Still don't know what it is, and I haven't been to the doctor. Alan took me to my parents' this morning so that I would have someone to watch Ali while I tried to rest. A couple of doses of Tylenol and Ibuprofen broke the fever after a few hours, and now I feel better. I'm still very weak, and my legs seem to weigh 100 lbs. each and feel as though they're not exactly attached to my body. And I'm aching all over, most likely due to the fever.

I'm not sure what's going on with my body, but words like meningitis and encephalitis keep running through my mind, and though I doubt it's either, I'm still pretty worried. Here's hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

Now I think I need to go lie down again.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.

feeling:
hopeful