Butterflies in My Stomach
11:59 a.m. - 2005-05-12

Sorry that I've been boring everyone to tears with these baby entries, but I can't help being excited. It seems that each day brings something new and unique, and I want to remember these feelings.

I'm still a normal person, I swear. I never thought I'd be able to wax on about protruding bellies and booties and sonograms either. It's completely foreign to me, and I'm desperately trying to come to grips with the fact that there is another human being growing inside me. It's surreal, to say the least.

So, in keeping with the "baby on the brain" theme, let me announce that I felt movement yesterday for the first time. It was very, very slight, and had I not been sitting completely still (in front of the computer, no less), I wouldn't have known that it even happened. But happen it did, just below and to the left of my belly button, almost like a little vibration or fluttering from the inside. When I first noticed it, I thought I must be imagining things. So I kept still, and it happened again! Twice more, in fact. I haven't felt anything since, and I know that it's still pretty early to be feeling things (15 1/2 weeks), but I'm fairly certain that's what it was.

I'm excited to find out the sex, especially since I don't have a bit of intuition about whether there's a boy or girl growing in there. Part of me wants to say that it's a girl, but I don't know if that's my honest belief or just what I'm kind of hoping for. I'll be thrilled regardless, but for some reason I keep referring to this baby as "she." (Except when I look at ultrasound pictures and videos, which is weird.)

Not much else to say...I'm trying to keep the class quiet by working their butts off, but that method seems to be wearing thin right now. The noise level is rising, and that means I need to give them something else to do.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.

feeling:
hopeful