I'm Back!
9:32 p.m. - 2007-06-06

Well, well, well.

Back again.

It took a bit of spurring from a good friend, but I decided that I do need to start writing here again. I've missed this space. When I left Diaryland, I LEFT. No more coming back to check my notes or messages, not even a glance at my buddy list and old friends. That wasn't fair, and it was pretty damn selfish of me. I've just recently found that I've missed out on a LOT of happenings here, and I still have a ton of catching up to do. I owe some of you messages, and I'll get to it, I promise. If bad--or good--things have happened in my absence, I apologize for not being there to at least give a few words of encouragement or congratulations. I'm going to try and do better.

And what about me? Well, there've been a few new developments around here. One really big one, in particular.

My best girlfriend had a baby in March, and I'm not sure if it was a flood of hormones due to sniffing his precious little head or what, but apparently craziness took hold of me. It happened the same way last time, only then it was my sister-in-law's new baby that triggered it.

Yes, I'm pregnant.

No, seriously! I AM. It wasn't planned, and I spent the first month pretty shell-shocked. (Pick your jaw up off the ground. Are you going to be okay?) I'm just now beginning to get used to the idea, and though I'm still pretty damn freaked out (Ali will only be 27 months old when this baby is born), I'm starting to get a little excited. Hearing a heartbeat and seeing that little blob seems to have that effect on me. It's still very early yet, though, only 8 weeks. But so far so good. There hasn't been any spotting, and if morning sickness is indeed an indication of a healthy pregnancy, then this one must be pretty perfect. I was NEVER this sick with Ali. It lasts all through the day, and often gets even worse in the evening.

I'm determined to try and ENJOY being pregnant this time, though. I spent so much of the last one worrying about ever little twinge and pain, and then at the end I was just ready for it to be over. This time I want to try and recognize it for the miracle it is, because this will definitely be the last one.

More later.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.

feeling:
hopeful