11:21 a.m. - 2005-10-02
I've had a few contractions, but nothing seems to want to stick. My due date is still three weeks away, but I'm past ready. I'm huge and miserable, and the pelvic pain is almost unbearable. Alan's been having to help me in and out of bed, and I've screamed in pain more than once. I know hurting like this isn't normal, and plan to mention it to my doctor on Wednesday. It's so bad that I'd just about be willing to schedule an induction to stop the pain, and I've been vehemently against inducing since the beginning.
I never would have believed that I'd get this big. Every day I seem to expand more, and I don't know how. My skin is stretched to max, and the baby feels HUGE. I'm beginning to get scared that she'll weigh 12 pounds if she goes to full term, though I know that's probably an unfounded fear. I'm just exhausted and sick of being pregnant, and the other day didn't do anything but get my hopes up. I really thought I'd have a baby in my arms by now.
Everything is ready. The carseat is installed, our bags are packed, the call list has been put in a safe place. The house is messy, but I honestly have no desire to clean it up--especially since I'm hurting like hell. All we're waiting on is this little girl to decide that she wants to meet us...we sure can't WAIT to meet her.