34 Week Appointment
6:05 p.m. - 2005-09-14

Everything looks good. Well, as good as it possibly can when you've been rendered unable to walk or stand for more than fifteen minutes at a time, when changing sleeping positions feels like someone with superhuman strength is trying to BREAK YOUR PELVIS IN HALF, and you have to pee ohmygodsobad every five minutes but only a couple of drops actually come out.

I'm measuring on schedule, the baby's heart rate is great, and though I'm as wide as I am tall, my weight gain is "normal." (Three pounds in two weeks?! "Normal," my ass.) My blood pressure is a little on the high side--or at least I think so--but my doctor hasn't mentioned it the first time, so I guess it's fine. They did the Group B Strep test today, and I'd like to point out that the nurse was wrong when she told me that I'd "barely know it was done." Any time I have to (*TMI alert*)lie naked and spread eagled on a table while someone swabs a Q-tip around in my nether regions I know that something is being done. Guess I need to get over my paranoia before it becomes necessary to birth a child, huh?

Even though the goods were RIGHT THERE in front of him, the doctor opted not to do an exam. I've heard that they can bring on premature labor, so I guess he's just taking precautions against that. I meant to ask when I would have to start getting undressed on a regular basis, but managed to forget somewhere between the fetal doppler and the measuring tape. I have a feeling it'll be pretty soon, though, especially since I'll be visiting his office every week from here on out. (HELLO exorbitant gas bill!)

I wish someone would come clean my house as a shower gift. That would be the best present EVER.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.