Thankfully, I don't know any famous people.
11:30 a.m. - 2005-08-13

My phone rang at 5 a.m. It was my sister, worried because someone had just called her on both her cell and home phone, and the number had shown up as mine.

"Does someone have your cell phone?"

Why, yes, as a matter of fact, they do. The phone went missing out of my car Wednesday night. I told Alan about it the next morning, and since he was the careless (idiot) that left the doors unlocked, he said he'd take care of the shit. Obviously not. His excuse (after a hearty cussing) this morning was that he really didn't believe that they'd just steal the phone and not take anything else from the car. Besides, he leaves HIS doors unlocked sometimes, and they haven't taken anything from him.

"Well, honey, just keep leaving it unlocked, and I'm sure they'll eventually stop playing favorites."

I was pissed. I'd stayed up until 1 a.m. reading, and knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. Images of $3,000 phone bills flashed through my mind as I frantically called my phone.

To my surprise, the idiots picked up.

"'Lo." Rap music was playing in the background, and I heard another guy talking.

I was LIVID.

"You motherfucker. You have my phone!"

"Yeah, bitch, I got your phone!" *laughter*

I spouted off some macho bullshit about kicking their ass if I EVER catch them around my house, and told them that they were going to be in deep shit when the cops figured out who they were. The kid just sat there, and I heard the other guy talking. Then his (probably stolen) phone rang, and I heard him answer it. The little fucker wouldn't hang up, so I did.

I called the cops. Wasn't sure what they'd be able to do (if anything), but figured it wouldn't hurt to have a report of it. Besides, I was furious that these goddamn juvenile deliquents stole my phone and had the audacity to call numbers on my list and wake people up at five in the morning.

The policeman that showed up had just crawled out of bed, and I think he was a little irked at being woken up at that hour for such a pathetic problem. He said that he had a pretty good idea of who it was (the people across the street) and that he had just seen them riding around in the projects a couple of hours before.

"Well, if you find something to pull them over for, the little silver cell phone is mine."

He promised to get me a police report to turn into the phone company and to check on the numbers that'll show up on the bill and drove off yawning.

A few hours later, Alan's mom called wondering what was wrong. They'd called her too, and she thought that I'd gone into early labor or something. I explained the situation to her (bet she didn't know I had such a dirty mouth!) and she seemed a little flabberghasted. She did say to tell Alan that he's not going to have anything left if he keeps leaving shit unlocked for people to steal, and I assured her that he'd heard the same thing from me all morning long.

My sister called while I was typing this entry up. Evidently they called her back after I'd talked to them, calling her "Baby" and asking her name and how old she was. Then the other guy called and said, "Uh, you just called my cell phone and cursed me out." HIS phone? Grrr.....

I know that it's just a couple of kids, and that Alan's as responsible as they are since he didn't lock the driver's side door, but that doesn't keep me from wanting to wring someone's neck. In the past two years, we've had our shed broken into, a weedeater, two bikes, a dog, and two cell phones stolen. It's time to move out of the goddamn ghetto.

**I called the phone company as soon as they opened this morning, and service to the phone has been suspended. Heh. Can't believe I didn't mention that. They said I won't be liable for any charges made after Wednesday night, so that eased my mind a bit. Still, I can't get over the fact that someone would call my phone contacts, much less ANSWER the damn thing when the ID showed up as "Home". It would almost be amusing if I weren't so fucking pissed off.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.