Starting to Nest
1:49 p.m. - 2005-07-31

I've been putting baby clothes away today, and it has me excited. Plus, the dorky email newsletter I get mentioned that I'm approaching the 28th week of pregnancy, and that seems almost unbelievable. I'm practically seven months pregnant. In just 8 weeks, the baby could be born healthy enough to go home. Even today, she'd have a chance at survival, though she'd be very weak and susceptible to all kinds of dangers. (Stay in there and grow strong, little girl.) It's amazing how quickly this summer has gone by. The months seemed to drag in the beginning, but now I wonder if I'll be able to get everything done on time. We've accomplished so much, but there's still a lot left to do.

Speaking of summer coming to an end...I have to call my principal tomorrow to tell her that I'm not coming back. I'm applying for leave, since I'm on home rest, and will get the papers back from the doctor tomorrow. I have an appointment of Friday, so if I don't think his answers will be convincing enough, I'll talk to him then. Otherwise, I'll go ahead and send the paperwork in. I'm anxious to find out whether they grant it to me. It really wouldn't surprise me if they decide to "let me go" at the last minute. Either way, I'm not going back to work before this baby's born. There's NO way I can run around with a class of second graders for eight hours a day. I'm in awe of pregnant women who teach until their due date. With the headaches and fatigue and swelling and this (Fucking Excruciating) sciatic nerve thing I have going on, I can barely see working a desk job until the end, much less moving desks and breaking up fights and listening to screaming, mouthy kids for the next two and a half months. There's no sitting down in there, and I know that I can't handle it.

Yes, the nerve is bad. Very bad. It's such an awful, stabbing pain that it takes my breath away and makes my leg go numb. Not numb enough to keep it from hurting mind you, but enough so that I hobble around even more than a seven month pregnant woman normally would. I'm going to ask the doctor for a referral to a chiropractor, and I'm hoping that getting things lined up back there will improve the situation.

Sleeping is nearly impossible these days, what with the need to pee every hour and the incessant aching in my hips. I'm also hot All The Time, no matter how low I have the air set or how many fans I have blowing on me. I'm beginning to see why pregnant women start sleeping in recliners during the last trimester. Looks like it's about time for us to get one.

We have a definite name for the baby, but I'm not going to tell until she actually gets here. It's taken us a LONG time to agree, and everyone's been driving us crazy. We've let a few friends and family know about it, but don't plan on telling anyone else until the baby is born.

Things are really starting to get exciting.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.