Older and Wiser
8:23 p.m. - 2005-07-15

I think I have a virus. I was in the bathroom all night and have spent the majority of the day sleeping. Let's hope it's just a twenty-four hour thing, because MAN. Six months pregnant and sick for a week? Don't think I could take it.

The room is looking great. I can't wait to see the end result. I'll have to post pictures when it's done, but that probably won't be for another week or so.

I'm not used to not being able to help with a project. I caulked, spackled, primed, and painted this entire house one summer. How many years ago was that? Lady Marmalade was in heavy radio rotation, so it must have been the year Moulin Rouge came out. Wow. Long time.

I talked to my crazy sister today. She's been calling once or twice a day for the past week, and it's driving me nuts. It's also making me feel guilty, because she keeps telling me how much stuff she's bought the baby. And it's bothering me, because I don't feel like we know her well enough to be receiving all these gifts. We've asked her repeatedly to stop getting stuff, but she. won't. listen. And she keeps dropping numbers and prices about what she's bought and how much it cost into the conversation. A few months ago, "I bet I've already spent over $400 on this baby!" and today, "She has about 40 outfits just from me!" (Hopefully both are extreme exaggerations.) I appreciate the thought(S), but it's gotten totally out of hand.

Really. What BABY needs forty brand new outfits? We're getting tons and tons of hand-me-downs from friends and relatives, plus there's a baby shower coming up on October 1. My little girl will be spending all day every day with me, and I sure as hell don't care if she just wears a onesie. She does not need expensive name brand clothing. Good grief.

On a more positive front, there's been a drastic reduction in arguments at home, and I'm so grateful for the peace. Things have been really stressful lately, and we were taking our frustrations out on each other. After a couple (okay, three or four) long talks and a couple of meltdowns each, we finally seem to have found a new groove that's working. I know it's a positive thing, but it's a little disconcerting to realize that "re-adjusting" your relationship is necessary, and that it really does take effort to make it work. I've always thought that it should come easily, without even having to think about it.

God. Evaluating my marriage and having babies. I guess I'm finally growing up.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.

feeling:
hopeful