We spend our entire lives trying to hide the fat in our ass, and you're going to just put it right out there on your face?
7:56 a.m. - 2005-03-26

Yay! Spring Break!

I'm already getting the days confused. Today feels like Sunday, and I spent yesterday thinking it was Saturday. At one point I thought that I'd already been off work for two days, because time stretched out into infinity and I couldn't keep it straight. Having Monday off always feels so naughty and wonderful. My favorite shows come on Sunday night, and I love knowing that if I want to stay up for the 10:00 run of The L Word, I can. Hell, I can even watch a movie AFTER that comes on and not have to worry about getting up early. (Not that I will, of course, since I can't seem to keep my eyes open past eleven anymore, but I like knowing that I could if I really wanted.)

How sad is it that my biggest thrills come from t.v. (and good food) these days? And should I feel guilty for popping out of bed at 7:30 on a Saturday? I mentioned to Alan last weekend that I didn't understand why I can't sleep late anymore, especially since I used to go to bed around the same time, but wouldn't drag myself awake until after nine. He observed that it probably had to do with the prolific amount of drinking (and other stuff) I'd do on the weekends, which is exactly right now that I think about it. Guess those days are over and done with, and it's probably for the best.

My sister and her family came up for Easter. I guess I'm going to have to get used to them visiting at every holiday--even if it's a holiday that my family hasn't really ever celebrated before--and I need to just get over myself and be happy to see them. I don't understand her reasoning for coming this time, though. She spent all yesterday in the bed except for the little while that she got up to moan and complain about how much pain she's in and how terribly the girdle that she's having to wear is bothering her. You may remember that in January she had a tummy tuck and extensive liposuction done. Well, last Friday she went back in for more plastic surgery--lipo on her stomach, arms, ass, thighs and hips--and she got a boob job. Maybe I'm just crazy, but all of this seems really drastic (not to mention expensive) for someone who already admits that she owes way too much in credit card bills. This is just a quick fix, and being that she had it done a few years ago and wasn't happy with the end result, I'm at a loss as to why she'd go through it again. Seriously. The woman has two little kids and a husband, and with her propensity for eating out and high-calorie foods in general, I can't help but think that all the fat she got sucked out of her ass will eventually make it's way back. She's black and blue from her neck to her knees, and though she does look a little different, wouldn't it have been less painful and more beneficial to achieve the same results through diet and exercise? I mean, I know that I'm fat, and I know that there's a reason for it. I like to eat, and I'm not talking about carrot sticks and broccoli spears. But I (and a lot of other people that I know) have had great success with eating right and exercising, and that's what I plan to do again when I decide that it's time to lose the weight.

Whoa. I've made it through an entire entry without mentioning the "B" word. Amazing.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.