Putting on a good front.
1:00 p.m. - 2004-11-13

I've actually managed to do some major work around the house today, but I still feel like I'm so far behind I'll never catch up. I can't help wishing that home shouldn't be so much work, but I know better.

Depression's crept up on me again. I'm doing the best I can to fight it off, but I've been on an emotional roller coaster for a while now, though I haven't really wanted to admit it. I swing from one mood to the next without even realizing it. I usually manage to stop myself from going completely overboard, but the "the world is so fucked up" feeling really needs to go away.

Four days of work left before I head off to Florida. I don't think I've ever been more ready for a vacation in my life. I don't know if it's the kids, or the administration, or the paperwork, or the higher-ups, or irritatingly inane laws, but I'm ready for some time away from that place to contemplate what I want to do next. Our lives are in a serious state of upheaval, though neither Alan nor I seem to be acknowledging it.

As of today, the puppy's tentative name is Maggie, after my very first dog. I'm putting up with a lot from the little shit, but I can't help loving her to death. She was in really bad shape when we got her, but she's getting better everyday. She got another thorough cleansing and a tube of K9 Advantix today, regardless of whether she's old enough for it or not. (I don't have the slightest clue about how old she is, to be honest. Hopefully she's pretty close to seven weeks, which is what the box recommended.) There were still a lot of fleas, but hopefully that'll get rid of them. It's always worked like magic with Lily.

So. Cute.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.