A Cornucopia of an Entry
4:55 p.m. - 2004-10-07

If my computer freezes again this time, I'm going to take it as a sign that this entry shouldn't be posted and go on about my merry way.

Today the kids left at 12:30 (Hooray! Hooray!) and all of the teachers had to attend an inservice at the school. I expected it to last the entire three hours, but the presenter breezed through it in less than one, so we were free to work in our rooms/converse with one another/laugh our asses off at various kid stories.

I'm much closer than I was last year with a lot of my co-workers, probably because we've had adequate time to get to know each other and our individual quirks. As we become more comfortable with each other we start to share stories that pertain to things outside of school (like home lives), and as grateful as I am that my friends feel as though they can open up to me, I often have to bite my tongue in order to keep them from thinking that I'm a cold-hearted bitch who doesn't want to take the time to understand where they're coming from.

They ask for advice, but they don't really want it. They just need someone to listen to them and nod or shake her head at the appropriate times. I do my best to comply, but often I have to restrain myself from grabbing their arms, lifting the black bruises to their face and saying, "Hey, sister, this should give you an indication that it's high time you got the fuck out of your situation." Same thing goes for those who have cheating spouses. You're punishing yourself by staying with him, so kick his ass to the curb and be done with it.

Still, I'm developing really close bonds with these women, and I enjoy their company. Having your coworkers as friends makes a lot of difference in the way you feel about your job, regardless of the amount of bullshit you have to put up with from the administration.

Halloween approacheth, and my classroom is unadorned with any witches, ghosts, or goblins. It is my favorite commercialized holiday, but I haven't had the time (or money) to go buy cutesy decorations. We made a word web the other day about Halloween and the things that the kids associated with it (trick-or-treating, costumes, candy, scary stories), and afterwards one of the boys came up to me and plopped his down with a big sigh.

"Well, here's my picture, Mrs. Dreamer. But I shouldn't have had to do it."

"And why is that?"

"Because we don't celebrate Halloween. My mom says it's the devil's holiday."

The rest of the kids were shocked. "You don't wear a mask? You don't go trick-or-treating? What's wrong with you?"

Then he said, "We don't celebrate Christmas either, because that's God's holiday."

Atheist? Jehovah's Witness? Mormon? I don't know, and I'm not going to ask. Unless a pissed-off parent comes up to me and forbids me from having her kid color a pumpkin, I don't see anything wrong with it. (And just so you know, I don't think that's going to happen, because the child has some serious mental issues. My guess is that he came up with this "theory" after hearing someone else mention it and just wants to stand out. He's a sucker for attention--good or bad--and it drives me nuts.)

Now I'm going to see if I have any devil's holiday decorations in the closet that I can drag to school with me tomorrow.

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I am: so very many things. A mother, a wife, a dreamer, a lover of animals and babies, a friend. I've been called a bitch, but if that's what you call someone who stands up for what they believe in and refuses to settle, then I guess the title fits.

loves: my family, horses, a full night's sleep, puppy breath, my daughter's laughter, thunderstorms, bubble baths, makeup, soft sheets, David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs, wine, massages, the written word, and sour straws.

dislikes: closed minds, depression, pimples, extreme heat, math, panic attacks, black licorice, doing laundry, white chocolate, gin, Bush.